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I JUST GOT MY REPORT CARD A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO AND MY DAD SAID

"He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't
know the meaning of a lot of words."

SO I WENT BACK TO SCHOOL AND TOLD MY TEACHER, MS WATERS

"I don't want to scare you Ms Waters, but Dad said that if I don't get better grades, someone's going to get a spanking"

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One day MS Waters said "Travis, give me the formula for water."

So I said "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."

Ms Waters said "Travis, What kind of crazy answer is that?"

I Said "Well, you told us that water was H to O."

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I went to the Doctor and said

"Doctor, Doctor I’ve lost my memory!"
He said "When did this happen?"
I Said "When did what happen?"

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But that wasn’t as bad as my sister.

She went to the Doctor and said

"Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog."
He said "How long have you felt like this ?"
She said "Ever since I was a puppy !"

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One day A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her
nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack.

So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long
vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his
dad is Mick Jagger, the rolling stone.
 

Patti explains that $30,000 is a lot of money and that he will
need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything
he can use as collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink
elephant, about an inch tall.

Patti explains that she'll have to talk with the manager and goes to the a back office.

She finds the manager and says: "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there

and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: ...

"It's a knickknack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling
Stone".